It is time to power up the computer and start writing again. Thankfully I have had a few organizations ask me to speak with a short-term notice. It is good to keep busy. In late October, we were scheduled to move. We were ready. We had down-sized. The kids were not getting involved in many programs at school (easier to leave). We were mentally prepared to go. The day before the moving company came, we were told this transition would be placed on hold. My husband was needed on another work trip before we could leave.
I am used to moving. We have had about a dozen different addresses. I rather enjoy the process. I like meeting new people and seeing new places. This move however, this move was entirely different. According to Google, it would take us 6,680 miles/ 10,750 km. We had been fully prepared to move from the United States to Sicily. Now we had to wait.
As much as I enjoy it, moving is a stressful event. It takes a lot of planning. Many phone calls and various arrangements have always needed to be made when we went from city to city. Moving from our home country to half-way around the world exponentially increases the items on a to-do list.
Early this fall I stopped scheduling speaking engagements. Since we were leaving the country soon, I forced myself to mentally say so-long to that part of my journey. Oh my how I miss classroom visits! My focus has been centered solely on my family. When you are in high school, as my kids are, a sudden adjustment like this causes your world to be turned upside down. Their dad had to leave immediately for a long work trip, and now a move date is no longer tomorrow yet lingering in their just out of reach future.
It’s time now to readjust my focus. The shock has worn off. The routines have been created. The computer is back on. I am ready to write again. Yes, moving is stressful. But, I have learned, not being able to make a planned move on time is much, much more stressful.
So, please, tell me about yourself. Don’t think about it. Don’t formulate a long, trying-to-impress, response. What is your reaction to that answer which immediately pops into your head?
I was asked this question several years ago by a participant in one of my presentations. But then he also added, “How has this answer changed since your brain injury?” It made me think about it for the first time. How do I define myself? What was I like compared to the years before I had my stroke?
We evolve. It is logical. We will always evolve. That is life. But who are you today? What is it –what passion, what occupation, what hobby – what is it that defines who you are?
Is the answer to this questioning what you what it to be? If not, how can you grow into the person you foresee in your future? Defining who we are will certainly evolve over time. Sometimes we will lose the titles we have once bestowed upon ourselves. Press forward, work toward fulfilling your dreams. You have the power to create the person you dream of telling others about.
“I may not have gone where I intended to go,
but I think I have ended up where I intended to be.”
Insurance said I recovered as much as I could within a few months of my stroke, but I knew I could do more. I knew I would have to work hard, but my recovery was going to be worth every ounce of effort I put into it. It was necessary to improve beyond what I had suddenly been reduced to. Even with all of my hope, I never had the expectation that I would be back to 100% of where I was before my cerebral vascular accident (CVA). Did I want it back? Desperately! But, I also had to accept reality.
The reality, from the viewpoint on my hospital bed, was that I would never get everything back. Although, being a young stroke victim did offer a unique path to becoming a stroke survivor. I still am not graceful when I make a feeble attempt to jog, but at least I walk. My eyesight is completely missing on the left peripheral. Yet, through this I’ve come to realize a vision for a positive future has nothing to do with what your eyes see; rather, it is what your heart, mind, and soul can create for a reality.
I completely agree with C.S. Lewis. I learned. My God did I ever learn. I am extremely grateful I had this brutal teacher of life offer me these experiences. Growing up with epilepsy, I never would have thought I could have seizures which would nearly end my life. I never would have been able to comprehend the idea of brain surgery. I never understood what a stroke was. Why should’ve I? No one young faces things like these. (At least, that was the innocence I used to maintain.) I faced brutal teachers.
Yet, these battles have created an inner strength I never could have imagined. Within these unfortunate experiences, I have learned so much about our brains and bodies. I truly believe it is not only a need but also a gift to help share these life lessons and teach others who are in the midst of facing the brutal teachings life is throwing their way. I have learned. Now it is my hope, desire, and –might I even say- responsibility to help others through this unpredictable journey known as life.